


do you think a subway station has memories?

by roots_symphony



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 17:21:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8410120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roots_symphony/pseuds/roots_symphony
Summary: This is basically three one-shots all set in the same AU where Patty and Erin had met before the movie but neither remember. The first one is in the past with them meeting, second is present with them at a pre-relationship stage, and then the third is future with them either first starting their relationship or already having it established.Also, I don't know if it was ever said where the interview Abby and Erin were supposed to be on was set, but I'm pretending it's New York for this.





	

2:15 PM found Erin Gilbert in a dingy New York subway with all her belongings in a suitcase at her anxiously tapping feet. Her emotions following the same path as the rhythmic up and down of her foot. With each downward motion, her mind screamed for her to stay. Each upward movement said to go. 2:15 PM, and Erin could still make it in time. 2:15 PM, and Erin could still change her mind.

 

But her body refused to move from the bench she’d claimed almost an hour beforehand. Her feet continued their nonsense tapping as her eyes stayed glued to the departures screen. Another one leaving now, heading for Brooklyn; one leaving in ten minutes for Jersey. She could get on any of them. She has no destination in mind, nothing other than away... Just, away.

 

2:27 PM, and still she sits. By now, she could still make it and only be late by few scant minutes. Some quick excuse about traffic, and that’d be it. Abby’d forgive Erin’s tardiness immediately; she’s been so excited since the call first came through. But Erin’s felt the claws of her anxiety grow in time with each rise of Abby’s determination and merriment. 2:27 PM, and Abby’s probably wondering what’s taking her so long. 2:27 PM, and Abby still has hope.

 

The breeze of another subway train coming in cools the tracks Erin has upon her face. Tracks left from tears that blinded her as she packed. Tears that chocked her as she shut the door. Tears that blurred the sidewalk as she paced. Tears that stopped when she first sat and the numbness crept in. A delicate sheen on her pale cheeks the only sign they’d ever happened at all.

 

2:39 PM, and she’s caught the attention of a subway worker who’d only just finished their training process two days before. The new MTA official had been briefed already on all the different kinds of people she’d see during the course of her job. But she still found herself unprepared in the face of such unrelenting sadness. Still found herself at a point where she wanted to help, to question, to reach out. 2:39 PM, and Patty’s heart broke for the brown-haired girl with the sad, sad eyes. 2:39 PM, and Patty could still make a difference.

 

The more time kept creeping slowly by, the more Erin’s tapping slowed as her heart rate grew. The closer the time came, the closer she got to the point of no return. Abby’d forgive her for a lot. But not this, never this. And with each minute that passed, she shrank more and more inside her head, channeling the eight-year old version of her who’d make herself as small as possible as she waited for daybreak to release her. The times she waited when she was a child always left her with a hollow feeling of relief in the morning light, since she knew the night would only bring about the fear once more. She waits again now for that hollow relief.

 

2:53 PM, and she hears footsteps making their way towards her. She ignores them, assuming they belong to just another busy commuter who has no time for the likes of her. She ignores them until they stop. Stares down at the bulky black shoes that have come to rest so near to her own, and tries to blink them away. She slowly, so slowly, draws her eyes up the uniformed body in front of her until they collide with the brightest smile she’d ever seen. 2:53 PM, and Erin forgets what it’s like to breathe. 2:53 PM, and Erin’s still waiting.

 

With a nod of her head in the direction of the bench, Patty asks if she can sit., and she takes Erin’s slow blink in response to being spoken to as a yes. With a deep sigh, Patty settles down beside her... And then it’s quiet. Erin goes back to her monitoring of the departures board as Patty stares out at the people getting on and off the trains. Both quiet, waiting.

 

Until the next train is gone again, and then softly Patty starts talking. “The minute I turned 18, I was ready to leave. Didn’t care where. Just wanted to go. Learn the story of each new place. A lot of people don’t see that, ya know?” She paused, and Erin cautiously turned her head her direction, looking at the place just off her left shoulder. “Every place has got some type a story. And _man,_ I wanted to learn ‘em all. But ya know the problem goin’ off half-cocked like that?” Again she paused, so Erin slowly she shook her head once, twice. “I didn’t have any damn idea what I was heading for. I just had this crazy thought that out there would be _so much_ better… Need more than that to survive though.” Patty’s eyes left the tracks and came to settle upon Erin’s. “You know what you’re running toward?”

 

 _Safety_ flashed like a beacon in Erin’s mind. That’s what she’s always been waiting for. Since the very first night she awoke to a presence at the end of her bed. Since the very last time she’d called out for her parents to chase it away. Since the fourth time, no one came at her cry. And the eighth time she was pushed into a locker. With each new therapy session and every cruel nickname. She just wanted to feel safe again.

 

With small nod of her head, Erin’s quiet voice rasped out a yes. She swallowed, and tried once more. “I… think I do.” Because despite Abby’s strength and reassurance, Erin knows what comes from telling the truth. Erin knows exactly what it means to be a Ghost Girl. Erin knows that with the truth out there, she’ll never feel safe again. Abby may hate her, may think her a coward, but Erin can’t force herself to go back there. The fear’s too palpable, the anxiety too strong. She wishes Abby could understand. She’s just so tired of being afraid. And maybe denying the truth and hiding from her past isn’t the best way, but she so badly wants to go back to before. To a time when her parents thought she was their greatest achievement, and she had plenty of friends who genuinely liked her. A time when each nightmare would be soothed away with a gentle caress, and ice cream could fix even the heaviest of feelings. A time when she was happy… A time when she was _safe._

 

3:08 PM, and the interview is already underway. Erin feels a renewed sense of determination as Abby’s gut fills with dread. She looks into the gentle smile shining back at her, and wonders what it’d been like to have that same smile giving her strength back then.  Barely even a conversation, and this person has helped to flick away her remaining doubts like it was nothing. Erin can’t keep thinking of what she’s leaving behind. Not when she’s running toward what’s she always longed for. 3:08 PM, and Erin smiles. Small and shaky, but a smile all the same. 3:08 PM, and Erin’s certain she’ll never forget the face of the woman looking back at her.

 

After staring so long at the monitor, she already knows the next train will be arriving in minutes. She curls a hand around her suitcases handle, and straightens her shirt as she stands. Turning just once to regard the woman still sitting on the bench she’d abandoned. Never one to handle emotions or words well, Erin gives a resolute nod of thanks before approaching the edge of the platform in anticipation of boarding. Patty tips her head at Erin’s back in reply, happy she’d helped in some small way, before getting up to return to her post.

 

3:11 PM, and the train comes rushing in. Patty watches as, shoulders straight and head held high, Erin boards. Smiling to herself at the contrast the sharp line of Erin’s shoulders cut in comparison to the hunched figure who’d made a subway bench her home for two hours. She may continue getting ignored by the masses, but at least she knows for one person she’d made a difference today. And sometimes, just one person is enough. 3:11 PM, and Erin’s mind narrows to a single point of focus. 3:11 PM, and Erin’s gone.

 

 

3:14 PM finds Abby’s confidence stumbling as the chair beside her remains empty.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, there's this episode of Frasier where Niles is in surgery and while everyone's waiting for him they think back to previous times they'd been in the hospital. For Roz, she remembers the time she'd thought her baby was first sick and this kind nurse helped her. The flashback showed Roz so grateful and saying she'd never forget her face. But, then flash forward to while their waiting, she talks to the same nurse and doesn't remember her. This is a horrible explanation of it, but that's something that just weirdly stuck with me, and then I started wondering what if something like that happened with Erin and Patty when Erin left Abby. So, this is what happened, and it didn't really turn out how I thought it would, but I hope you guys still like it. It's really kinda thoughts/feelings heavy because I always get lost writing that since dialogue is not something that comes easy for me, but the next one will have more dialogue and be less exposition.
> 
> Also, if you'd like, you can send me prompts that you want to see written. Totally cool if not, but just throwing that out there that I wouldn't mind :) Especially if you have Tolbert prompts. I mean, I ship basically all the Erin ships (Tolbert, Holtzbert, and Yatesbert) because she's my favorite, so I'd be happy with a prompt for any of those. But I'm also kinda determined to make Tolbert show up in the relationship filters so that I don't have to type it in on my phone every time.. Apparently laziness is a great motivator for me lol
> 
> Okay, this is probably way too long an AN, so I'll wrap it up now. If you wouldn't mind, I'd really appreciate it if you let me know what you think ^.^ And if you want, you can talk to me on tumblr at http://roots-symphony.tumblr.com/ Oh, and the title is also from that Frasier episode, I just changed hospital to subway station. Have good day/night/whatever time it is for you! :)


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